every now and then i wanna kill myself. and im scared that once i feel like a big enough a failure im actually gonna do it. i just really cant stand myself sometimes. im really trying hard to be the best me i can be, but i have a lack of discipline and its hard for me to finish the big projects i have to take on. i dont have a terrible life and my parents love me, ill never deserve them and i waste the gifts and talents god has given me. i wonder why i was even born. sometimes i think it wa